How many times I planned on posting in this blog more often, I don't know. Every time I managed to finish an article which got me a bit of positive feedback I thought to myself: hey, apparently the stuff you're writing isn't that bad after all. So why not produce more of it?
Well, why nott?
It's not that easy to explain. One of the reason is that some years ago, a person who was then very close to me - perhaps too close? - told me over and over again that a) I didn't have to say anything, b) no-one would be interested, c) boring blogs wouldn't be read anyway. That d) my parlance was stupid, my contents e) bordering between hubris and arrogance and that I was f) whining about as soon as I wrote something not exclusively positive.
Another reason might be that all those things, when repeated like a mantra, begin to settle in one's brain like over-enthusiastic seeds and one begins to ask: could this be true?
And from here on out, it's a one-way street. One - in this case, me - begins, to see the own texts, ambitions, even the own goals in life with completely new eyes. Only that those aren't the best ones to look through... Is this actually of interest for anyone? Is it interesting to ME? DOES it have to be said? Does it have to be said by ME?
Today I am in a process of understanding that, back then, it wasn't about me. And that all of those things, argument, points, you name it, didn't have or have anything to do with me, my goals or my dreams. It took me a long time to recognise this and I guess it will take some more time to also realise it.
So that's the reason for this experiment. Today, on July 21st 2021, I plan to post something here for the next 365 days - EVERY day. What? Time will tell. I don't expect of myself to come up with deep, philosophical insights on a daily basis. So it will be an exercise primarily for myself: Do I have the necessary consequence in me? The necessary discipline? Can I tone down my partly idiotically high standards in regard of a bigger picture?
Losely based on the wonderfully eloquent quote from the beautiful, yet pointless movie "The 13th Warrior":
"We'll see."
Because after all: why not? It could turn out to be good...
So today, this would be 1/365.
Yours,
Fabian
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